Always and Forever
by emication
Summary: Gabumon's dead, Matt flips.


Hello. Toei owns Digimon. I don't own anybody. Well, in my dreams, Matt's mine, but that isn't real, is it? Who Matt belongs to is mainly opinion, anyway. Comment (the story), if you like, but please be gentle. ^_~ Send stuff to roguegirl@worldnet.att.net if you must.

I really don't hate Natsuko "Nancy" Takaishi. It's story development. I think she's the coolest mom in the series. None of the other mom's have manicured nails (yes, I notice these things and live a sad life). I mean, Izzy's mom is kind of sappy, Mimi's just scares the hell out of me, Sora's is a Nazi zombie, and Tai and Kari's mom is, well, different. So, I don't hate Nancy. It's for the story!

This story is PG-13. It's yaoi (my first, please be nice), but nothing too graphic. It's also got some language. It's a free Internet, so I can put whatever words I want. MUSH ALERT! MUSH ALERT!!!

"Threw you the obvious, and you flew with it on your back. A name in your recollection down among a million sane. Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over, but I look right through. See you naked but oblivious, but you don't see me. But I threw you the obvious just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy." -A Perfect Circle

*~*Always and Forever*~*

It was just another battle being faced by the DigiDestined. The DigiWorld always seemed to be in constant peril without a single way to protect itself, forcing the chosen children out of their everyday lives to save the dimension yet again.

They were in Japan, their own home on Earth, in a park that was quickly becoming a burned field. The self-proclaimed Digimon Mistress had sent another lackey after the DigiDestined in an attempt to destroy them all. This time, it was a Mega Digimon that Patamon had called Sangremon, a Digimon that was even tougher than Apocalymon had proved to be a over a year or so before. It seemed like yesterday.

The attack couldn't have been more inopportune, either. TK had been visiting Matt in Odaiba when Sangremon, a gigantic, devilish looking Digimon, started launching attacks at random people on the street. Tsunomon Digivolved to Gabumon, but the Rookie was still to weak to make the Warp-Digivolve to his Mega level, so he Digivolved to Garurumon instead. Patamon joined in by becoming Angemon and helping fight off Sangremon, but it just wasn't enough.

Tai heard the battle across the street. He had Kari call the other Destined before rushing outside with Agumon who Warp-Digivolved to WarGreymon. Sangremon moved the battle to the park across the street. By that time, Angemon had already got a serious blow that forced him to De-Digivolve back to Tokomon. WarGreymon was having a difficult time keeping the virus Mega away, and Garurumon took a serious hit that kept the great snow wolf out of the battle.

Birdramon soon arrived afterwards. The firebird was about to Digivolve to Garudamon when Sangremon saw that his work was done and left. WarGreymon had the tar beaten out of him, De-Digivolving to Koromon.

"Tokomon, are you okay, little guy?" TK asked caringly, picking up his In-Training Digimon.

"I'm fine, TK," he squeaked. "I'll be back to Patamon in no time."

"Great, you finish the battle before I get here," Gatomon commented, running through the scorched grass with Kari right behind her.

"I was downloading a new program, too," Izzy complained, Motimon in his arms.

"I got out of listening to Jim talk about removing stones from a gall bladder. Glad I got out of that, but even happier that Gomamon doesn't have to fight now," Joe pushed his glasses back his nose. "Hey, what's going on?"

A growling groan had directed the other's attention to Garurumon who was lying on his side between a small cluster of trees. Matt was kneeling besides the Champion's head, stroking Garurumon's muzzle between the wolf's eyes. TK stood behind his brother, hugging Tokomon tightly, as Sora watched with a worried expression.

"Matt…I'm sorry…" Garurumon sighed, breathing deeply and wincing in pain as he inhaled.

"Garurumon… Just De-Digivolve or something to conserve your energy. You'll be okay, I promise!" the blond Destined pleaded to his Digimon. "Everything will be all right!" Matt was beginning to get choked up. _This isn't fair. Why's everything happen to me? Gabumon, the one I know I can always count on no matter what. Gabumon, the most loyal to me of anyone, cannot possibly be dying. He just can't be._

"We'll see each other again. That promise can be kept. You were a good friend, Matt, and I'll see you again, soon," Garurumon let out a final groan of pain before surrendering to the inevitable. The Champion shattered into millions of pieces of data that floated until they were too far to be seen.

"Garurumon!" Mimi cried out, sobbing at the loss of yet another friend.

"Matt?" TK asked with tears in his eyes. "Matt, are you gonna be okay?"

Matt had collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees, instantly hiding all emotions behind a mask of indifference even though he had said that he never would again.

"Matt?" Tai questioned his friend, feeling horrible from the loss of Gabumon and knowing that it must be infinitely worse for the holder of Friendship.

"I'll be fine," Matt murmured, standing up and turning away from the others. Without another word he started walking away from the DigiDestined team. He didn't want anyone to stop him and no one, even Tai, felt they had any right to.

*~**~*

"Who invited _you_ here?" Matt snapped when he saw none other than the Digimon Mistress standing on the balcony of his apartment.

"No one invites me anywhere; I invite myself," she retorted back, "but I have a proposition for you."

"Don't expect me to listen," the blond boy turned away from her and made as if he was going to do something else.

"I'll talk anyway," the silver-haired girl entered through the glass door. "You are the Child of Friendship. Don't say you aren't because I'm not stupid. Your Digimon just came to a, um, tragic end, no?" Matt just kept the same look of indifference and defiance in his blue eyes. "Friendship is just a word. You first heard this from Cherrymon but you lied to yourself anyway. You believed it had a meaning, and that was proven to you through Gabumon's loyalty and the faith your fellow Destined hold in you. Now, Gabumon is gone, so the word...the concept...of Friendship means squat to you."

"What's your point?"

"Join me. We could make a team, and the control over the Digital World you would receive is inconceivable compared to anything you could get here on Earth. Here, without your own Digimon, you would just get in the way. You'd be a...fifth wheel?"

Matt shuddered inwardly at the memory, but he knew the Digimon Mistress was just pulling his strings. "You're wasting your time here. I would never betray my friends, or Gabumon's memory, to join up with you."

"Pity, you would make such a powerful ally to me. Such a kawaii one, at that," the Mistress smiled at Matt invitingly but only got a disgusted sneer.

"You're not my type. I recommend that you leave," he simply said.

"Fine. You're not mine, either. I was never keen on blonds. But, I will keep my offer open if you ever should feel free to venture upon it. Ta ta!" The Digimon Mistress just walked out the door like she had been invited in the first place. Matt knew that she would be finding her closest method to get to the DigiWorld, which would most likely be a public terminal in the lobby.

*~**~*

_I _am_ useless. How can I help the team without Gabumon? I'd just get in the way and be exactly that, a fifth wheel. Not even a spare tire, but a fifth. Without me, the team is lost. Tai couldn't lead ants to a picnic if he was holding the basket, and Sora's too nice about it to let him see the flaws in his decisions. And TK… I want to cry for Gabumon's loss, but crying would force me to face the fact that he truly is gone. He never went against any choice I made, no matter how foolhardy or just plain stupid it was. If I said jump, he asked how high. Not even TK was that trusting, and Tai may be a good friend, but it isn't the same. I am useless without Gabumon, and so are my Digivice and my tag and crest. Crying would mark me as a failure as a DigiDestined, and that would be the third time I have failed since the beginning of this adventure. But what else can I do? The Digimon Mistress's offer couldn't possibly be my only other choice, could it?_

*~**~*

TK slowly creaked open the door to the apartment where his father and brother lived. He entered and looked around. _Matt must be in his room._ The young boy saw his brother lying on his bed, seemingly asleep but just staring blankly forward at the ceiling. "Hey, Matt," the generally cheerful boy greeted quietly.

Matt sat up abruptly at the sound of his brother's voice. "TK? You got here…all by yourself?"

TK smiled slightly. "I came with Patamon." The small Rookie entered the room and sat himself down behind his Destined. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. After Gabumon…"

Matt narrowed his eyes. "I'm fine, TK," he said sternly.

"No you aren't, Matt! You're upset and I can tell. You just don't want to admit it to yourself or to anybody else."

He got off the bed and walked out of his room, trying to keep his back to his little brother. _Why can't he just leave me alone?_ "TK, I'm okay, really, now please go home."

"Matt, just talk to me! I can help."

Matt spun around and was shocked by the open caring in TK's expression. _TK always wanted everyone to be happy and just get along. I must be a failure as a brother as well as friend._ "How can you help, huh, TK? Can you just _bring_ Gabumon back and make everything the way it was before that battle? Can you?!" He hadn't even realized that he was yelling until Matt noticed that TK was on the verge of tears.

"No, Matt, no, I can't bring Gabumon back! No one can. If you just talked to someone you could start to feel better!"

He closed his eyes. "Takeru, go home…please."

"Matt, I didn't come all this way just for you to tell me to go home," TK said stubbornly. "We _all_ miss Gabumon and want him to come back, Matt. He was your Digimon and you refuse to remember him like he would want you to."

Matt was getting frustrated from the requests of his younger brother. _Why won't he just listen to me?_ "Takeru, leave me alone! Now just _go home_!" Before Matt realized what he was doing, it had already happened. He rose his right hand and slapped TK across the face with the back of his hand. He heard a gasp from Patamon, but it seemed so far away. He'd have thought TK would have burst into tears, but he was too shocked to cry.

TK turned around and ran out of the apartment, Patamon close behind him. Matt fell to the ground, his legs unable to keep him upright. They felt like the bone disintegrated entirely. "TK… TK, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it!" he whispered.

Matt didn't budge from his spot on the floor for what seemed like an eternity but was really a few minutes. He just sobbed lightly to himself, wishing he could deny what just happened, but the sting was still on the back of his hand from the impact. Matt slowly got up and left, knowing the only place left that he would be welcome on either world.

*~**~*

"TK, I'm sure he didn't mean it! TK!" Patamon called, flying after his DigiDestined. The Child of Hope was just running and running blindly with no destination in mind.

But he did mean it. He knew exactly what he was doing and what he had done. He called me Takeru. The only time anyone uses my full name is when they're either being serious or mad at me. Matt knew all-to-well that he hit me. Patamon doesn't know what he's talking about.

TK stopped running and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He looked up and wondered how he managed to end up at Tai's house. He didn't remember knocking on the door or ringing the bell, but it opened and Tai was standing in the doorway.

"TK? Hey!" _Wonder why the kid's here…uh oh…he's crying… Aw, crap…Matt!_ Tai slipped his sneakers on, not particularly caring that they weren't tied so he'd probably end up tripping on the laces and falling on his face. "Come on, TK, it's getting late. I'll take you home and you can tell me what happened."

*~**~*

He had his old brown gloves on. They hid his hands. The hands that did the unthinkable. The hands that slapped TK, his own brother for whom he cared about deeply.

Matt didn't remember how he got to the DigiWorld, but there he was. He was searching for someone who would probably find him first. As long as it wasn't the other Destined, Matt didn't give a rat's ass about who found him first.

He always knew that he was a freak. The odd one out. Different.

Matt figured that the beginning was when his family split up. He was probably a normal, happy kid before that. When it happened Matt never saw it has him and his father leaving his family, but his family leaving him. Most of all, he hated his mother. He hated her for leaving; he hated her for keeping TK away; he hated her for making his life a mess and him a mental wreck.

A minor detail about Matt that only Gabumon had known: He preferred boys over girls.

Matt didn't consider himself gay, but he knew he was pretty damn close.

Just like every other problem in his life, Matt blamed this difference on his mother. She made him think that women were all bitches out just to leave in the end. TK must have been special somehow since what she did to the family didn't phase him enough to think twice about his mother. Matt had thought much more than twice and came to the same conclusion each time.

He figured he wasn't one hundred percent gay when Matt found himself holding crushes for one or two girls in his grade. But he wasn't in love with any of them. He was in like, so to speak, or just in puppy love. That seemed to be the popular term for it. Matt was in love with a guy.

And of all the guys in Tokyo, it had to be Taichi Kamiya. All the fights were pitiful attempts on Matt's behalf to get closer to Tai than otherwise possible. Yamato Ishida, totally cool and indifferent on the outside, melted to the self he hid from the light of day when Tai was the only other person around. Matt didn't figure this out until after returning to the team to find Tai beaten up by Piedmon. Tai had held his faith in Matt long after he should have given up.

It was at that moment, with Tai's wounded body in his arms, that Matt realized what he felt to the smaller boy, and damn did being around Tai get awkward after that.

Gabumon's death lead to new problems. If friendship really was just a word, was it the same for love?

Even TK never knew the true side of his brother. Matt always remained strong around his brother. He didn't want TK to think any less of him by exposing more than Matt ever needed to.

"Ah, good, I knew you would show up, eventually," a sadistic voice purred. It was the Digimon Mistress, standing on a Digimon that served under her. It was a serpent-like monster known as Ambamon. "I hope you're ready to get to work because you have a long ways to go before I can trust you with more interesting tasks."

"However I can help," Matt said back, unbelieving that he was offering his help to the girl who caused the DigiDestined to flee the DigiWorld, bringing their Digimon with them, and make the world itself helpless and run by her evil kind, building a private empire much like the ancient Egyptians, complete with slave labor.

"Good," the Mistress replied. She threw a black object at Matt. "Due south there is a valley. In the valley there is a city. Enslave those there and bring them to my prisons. If you can do this successfully with only the help of the army of Gazimon I shall give you, a bigger and better prize will be sought after next. Understand?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Good. Get to work." The Ambamon turned around and left, revealing the army that had been hidden before from Matt's view. The object she had thrown at him was a leather whip. The whip itself was black with a matching grip that rested comfortably in his right hand.

*~**~*

Matt wasn't home. His father told Tai that Matt left a note saying he was out for a walk and should be back before sunset.

Tai just said that he would call back later. But he wouldn't. It didn't take very many brains to figure out that Matt had gone to DigiWorld. Whether it was revenge for what the Digimon Mistress did to Gabumon or not, Tai hadn't the slightest clue. All he had was a direction and he hoped the rest of the pieces would fall into place.

TK took a few minutes before he finally stopped crying. He told Tai that he had tripped and landed on his cheek, but the red mark looked suspiciously like a hand. And then Matt was gone.

Tai went out onto the balcony of his family's apartment and held his Digivice in the center of his hand. Just like he did after the defeat of Myotismon, the device was held out. An orange light shot into the heavens. _Agumon and Kari aren't going to be very happy, but I'm the only one who can talk sense into that crazy bastard. Matt will get himself killed otherwise._

*~**~*

There had been a village all right. And Matt and his army of Gazimon had got every last one of them. And damn was it fun. He had _never_ felt so powerful or so in control ever.

"You have proven yourself useful. My castle's main dungeon is filling up. Some of the Digimon down there will have to be moved to the secondary prison until some of those monsters can be converted to _my_ cause."

"Yes, Mistress. Any Digimon in particular?"

"I trust your judgment. Just try to be quick about it."

"Yes, Mistress."

*~**~*

Herds of In-Training Digimon from a destroyed village moved from one dungeon to another. Matt slammed the door closed and checked twice to make sure it was locked. He then flipped the switch that electrified the bars. It was surprising how quickly Digimon learned when pain was the punishment for ignorance. The Tsunomon would probably try to pick the locks with their dorsal fins, otherwise.

Matt heard a light groan coming from one of the cells. He brandished the leather whip and held it up so he could snap it at a target before getting attacked.

He kicked open the cell door and scanned the room. He was greeted by calm, brown eyes that were all-too-familiar. They smiled weakly. "Well, I found you. Just like I knew I would. I'd think they got you too, but apparently that isn't the case…"

"Tai, shut up!" Matt snickered. "I don't want to know why the hell you were looking for me. I'd send you out, but I don't have the authority to do so."

"I always thought you as too rebellious to allow a Digimon Mistress to tell you what to do, Matt. I bet she told you to destroy me and that's what you're going to do," Tai still held the courage in his eyes, but behind that, Matt saw a glimmer of trust. _Tai still trusts me even after he discovers what my_ true _destiny is. _"Is this going to be it? Our final fight, huh, Matt?"

_Fight… I used to fight him because I loved him so much and wanted his attention exclusively for myself. Our final fight… Have I detached myself from all those I care for? First Gabumon dies and then I hurt TK…have I become distant from Tai? Is that why I allow myself to be controlled by this Digimon Mistress?_

"Yama…"

"Tai, I told you to _shut up_!" Matt yelled, frustrated with this new inner turmoil. Life was supposed to be simpler, now, and it was only getting more complicated. Without thinking, he lashed out with the whip, striking Tai, hitting his shoulder, and tearing a slash that ripped cloth and flesh.

Tai looked at wound, stunned. Matt had dropped the whip to the ground. Twice in the past week he had hurt someone he told himself he cared for. _I'm no better than my mother was_, Matt thought. He bit back tears, leaning against the cold stonewall and slowly sinking to the floor.

Tai moved besides him, which confused Matt out of his mind. _I hurt him and he wants to comfort me? What's up with this?_ The brunette gently took Matt's trembling chin in between his thumb and forefinger, lifting the taller boy's face so their eyes met.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Just like you never meant to hit TK," Tai soothed, comfort and support reflected in his brown eyes.

Matt's azure ones expressed confusion, sorrow, and something else that was hidden deeply behind the first two. "I don't know what I mean to do and not do anymore."

"I know you mean to do this, though, Yama-kun," Tai bent forward and kissed Matt's mouth lightly. 

_Hold on a second! This isn't right! Why is Tai kissing me? I'm supposed to be the one kissing him. Matt to self, if you want him to keep on kissing you, try kissing him back, dumb ass!_

Matt opened his lips more to let in Tai's tongue to explore the insides of his mouth. Tai did the same for him, but after a few minutes, both boys remembered the first primal need…oxygen. 

It was then that Tai recognized the hidden emotion in Matt's blue eyes to be love. Matt's senses felt electrified. The kiss had been everything and so much more than his inner dreams and fantasies made it out to be.

"Tai-kun," Matt murmured, delicately running his fingers over the gash the whip marked in Tai's shoulder.

"It's okay. Just a scratch. That's nothing I can't handle," Tai smiled slightly.

Matt nodded. Then he stood up. "Tell TK that I'm sorry…" He left the cage that Tai had been in. He didn't relock the door behind him. Matt simply motioned that Tai better leave before anyone noticed he was gone.

"Come with me and you can tell him yourself, Matt. It would be better that way for the both of you. And how do I know that you'll be all right here?"

"I guess you won't, but you can't stay here. I don't want to hurt you again. Now go. It would be harder to sneak you out of here if I'm dragging you out by your hair."

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Tai kissed Matt once more. "But I _will_ come back, and the others will be with me. Count on it."

The blond boy grabbed the hand of the boy he loved before letting the other leave. "Why are you doing this?"

Tai smiled grimly. "That's what friends are for, and I love you, Yama-kun."

"I always loved you, Tai-kun," Matt said before watching the brunette boy leave, knowing that he really _would_ return even though he probably shouldn't.

*~**~*

"What would you like for me to do next, Mistress?" Matt questioned, trying his best to continue as he had before. This time, it was a complete and total charade.

"Go to sector eleven-bee and enslave any monsters that you might run into. I have a _special_ partner for you to bring with you today, as well. I expect you to break him by the time you return." A cage rose out of the floor. _Gabumon!_ "This is the one that will accompany you. Now go before I change my mind."

"Yes, Mistress." _I don't want to hurt Gabumon. I can't believe he's back, but I can't let her think anything is wrong._

"Matt? Matt! What are you doing here?" Gabumon exclaimed. He looked tired and his fur coat was scraggly. The Digimon looked hungry and beat. The barred door allowed the Rookie to exit, causing him to rush to his Destined. "Come on, Matt, let me Digivolve and we'll be out of here in the time it takes to say 'Howling Blaster'!"

Matt snapped the whip at Gabumon, trying to be gentle. The sting hurt Gabumon as much as it hurt Matt to do. The Digimon looked surprised and hurt. "Come along, Slave," Matt said harshly, masking all concern in his eyes. Gabumon just sat there, staring at him dumbly. Matt raised his wrist again in a threat. The Digimon started towards the door.

When they got far enough away from the Mistress's base, Matt allowed himself to look at Gabumon who slumped submissively just behind him. The Rookie's red eyes glimmered with unshed tears.

The DigiDestined fell to his knees to the forest floor, tearing the gloves off his hands and throwing them away. _I'm so sick of running and hiding. Why can't I deal with anything by myself? Shows what kind of a loner I am. All TK wanted to do was help and I hurt him. I should have listened and talked. Now Gabumon's probably thinking I've flipped completely because I'm sitting here crying._

"Matt…? Matt, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything and nothing," the blond boy replied, wishing his answer made sense but knowing that the one he gave was the most sincere one possible.

"Oh, Matt. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"You died, that's what happened!" Matt yelled suddenly. He gasped and shut his mouth, pressing his lips into a white line.

"I told you I'd see you again, and here I am."

"I know that," he murmured, wiping his blue eyes with the palms of his hands. "But I got upset and angry, anyway. TK tried to help, but I…but I…but I…"

"But you what?"

"But I hurt him. I hit TK, Gabumon, and the look in his eyes after I did will be something I'll never forget. And remember what I told you. When I explained that I was different from most other boys?" Gabumon nodded knowingly. "I love Tai. He got captured by the Mistress and I didn't know it, but I found him and he said that he loved me. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right this moment. Then I see you again, and I'm so happy I want to cry, but it hurts even more because I had to be mean to you in front of that damned Digimon Mistress!"

"'Everything and nothing'," Gabumon quoted back. Matt nodded solemnly.

A large shadow swept over the trees. Matt looked up and saw a gigantic red form fly up into the air before landing and De-Digivolving besides the pair. It was Garudamon, now Yokomon, and the other DigiDestined.

Menacing laughter was heard behind him as the Digimon Mistress, Sangremon, and Ambamon appeared behind Matt and Gabumon. _What is that in her hand?_ Matt wondered. The familiar object's identity became horribly apparent when the Mistress twirled it around her finger. _Oh dear God, she's holding a gun. If we die here…and all my friends are here, now, in trouble because of me._

"Gabumon!"

"Right. Gabumon Warp Digivolves to…MetalGarurumon! Metal Wolf Claw!"

"Agumon Warp Digivolves to…WarGreymon! Terra Force!"

The two Megas launched themselves at Sangremon. Tai ran up to where Matt stood and pulled his arm, leading him to where the other Destined where hiding behind a conveniently placed boulder. Two Megas were already taking care of the Mistress's, but there was still her Ultimate charge to take care of.

"Tentomon Digivolves to…Kabuterimon! Electro Shocker!"

"Palmon Digivolves to…Togemon! How 'bout a taste of my Needle Spray? Aargh!"

"Gomamon Digivolves to…Ikkakumon! Harpoon Torpedo!"

The Gazimon Army started to come out of various hiding places in the forest.

"Yokomon Digivolves to…Biyomon! Spiral Twister!"

"Lightning Claw!"

"I knew you were untrustworthy," the Mistress said, standing on a thick branch of a leafless tree, watching and savoring the battle around her. "You DigiDestined are all too good-hearted. Especially when I gave you your little Gabumon back, but that was a chance _I_ took, wasn't it?"

"Seems to be your problem, not mine!" Matt shouted towards where the evil Destined stood.

"Oh, I'll _make_ it your problem." She whirled the gun around her finger once more before flipping off the safety. Her aim was quick and she shot a large flower off the tree above where the DigiDestined hid with deadly precision.

"TK, I want to go fight, too," Patamon said, running from behind the rock towards the enraging battle.

"Patamon, no!" TK shouted, reaching for his Digimon but missing.

Tai saw what was going to happen. He went to shout something, but Matt's reflexes were faster. When TK left the safe cover of the granite stone, Matt dove to tackle his little brother to the ground. Matt felt his brother's small body go down with his, but more importantly he heard the ringing shot of the Mistress's gun. Before hitting the ground, the Child of Friendship felt a tremendous pain. As he hit the ground his vision and consciousness turned black. His last thought was of hope that he succeeded in protecting his little brother.

*~**~*

The Digimon Mistress had taken off after she shot Matt. That much Tai remembered clearly. The rest was a blur. TK was crying hysterically. Patamon felt that it was all his fault. Tsunomon thought that he should have protected Matt better instead of focusing his attention on destroying Sangremon, which the pair of Mega Digimon had succeeded in doing. Everyone was in shock of one form or another. They were in too much of a rush to get back home to Earth and find help for Matt.

He wasn't dead. That was the good news. The bad news was that currently Matt was in a coma, and no one could predict when or if he would come out of it. The bullet had entered through Matt's shoulder, stopping in his lower back after chipping a vertebrae, barely missing nerve cords that, if damaged, would lead to permanent paralysis, and hitting body organs that were easily repaired. Before arriving at the hospital, Matt, even though unconscious, had been coughing up blood. He had stopped after a few hours in the hospital and everything seemed to be going fine.

Matt's parents had come and gone. The doctors sent them home. TK was devastated and the hospital wasn't the place for him to be at the time. They said that Matt's condition was steady and they would be contacted if anything happened at all. 

Tai said he would hang around for a little while if people wanted him to leave or not. TK heard this and made a point to stay with him. Tai said it would be okay and Matt and TK's mom said she'd come back before dinner time if Tai didn't bring TK home before that.

TK's eyes were red from crying. He went in and sat next to Matt's bed, holding his brother's hand and apologizing for everything he ever did that made Matt angry or hurt. He fell asleep from exhaustion on a couch on that floor's waiting room right outside the door to be near Matt. Patamon slept curled up next to his Destined and Tsunomon waited beside the Child of Hope's head. Kari had taken Koromon home and the other kids had left already.

_I really did mean it when I told Matt that I loved him, but I didn't seem to know just how much until now._ Tai took Matt's hand in his. He used his left hand to fix the arrangement of the blond locks that had gotten messed up in the past several hours. He ran the back of his finger down the side of Matt's face, feeling the pale skin on his emotionless face. He looked tranquil enough, but his expression seemed to suggest he was in pain, even though he was continuously being fed painkillers through the IV tubes that snaked about his body. He was able to breath on his own, but the breaths sounded ragged and hoarse.

"Ai shiteru, watashi no tenshi. Ai shiteru tsune ni," Tai whispered, wondering if his love could hear him and wishing Matt could respond. Tai could have sworn he felt some pressure on his hand from Matt's, but when Tai looked down, their hands rested exactly the way they had been before.

Tai leaned forward and kissed the blond gently on the lips. "I hope you wake up soon, Yama-kun, because I could not imagine going on with my life knowing that you're just lying here and there's nothing I can do to help."

The Child of Courage turned around to leave, slowly drawing his hand from Matt's, but feeling a slight resistance in moving his grip. Matt's hand was closed around Tai's. The brown-eyed boy looked up quickly and saw a pair of blue eyes gazing at him intensely.

Tai blinked in surprise, rushing back to Matt's side. "Yama-kun, you're awake."

"I sure hope so, because if I'm still dreaming, my subconscious must really hate me right now for making me dream about this bishounen beside my bed."

Tai blushed. _He thinks I'm a bishounen? He must really be doped up on whatever this place is giving him. My Yama-kun's the true bishounen, not me._ Matt reached up weakly, drawing Tai's face closer to his, cupping the tanned skin between his hands, and pulling it closer yet. Both boys closed their eyes and kissed with unrepressed love.

"Do you really love me?" Matt asked. 

The brunette nodded in response, not hesitating for a second. "I love you always and forever, my Yama-kun."

"'Always and forever'," the blond smiled. "I like the sound of that. Tai-kun, I couldn't imagine life without you."

"I'm glad you'll be okay so I don't have to." Tai leaned back forward and they kissed again, and for a second, Tai could have sworn that their hearts melted together as one, showing no lies, hiding no secrets, and always loving each other.

*~**~*

The End

*~**~*


End file.
